Being Single: Lesson #2 - "The Eowyn complex"

Yeah, that was a Lord of the Rings reference. And while we're on the subject, I'm looking for someone who wants to do a LotR extended version trilogy marathon with me. There will be pizza.



I am no man.

I am not a man, I do not need a man, and I will not succumb to the stereotype that if a girl is single and attractive, she must be crazy. I am a kickass, independent, smart, witty badass. I am a woman. And you bet your ass I can do anything a man can do and I can do it ten times better (within reason. I do understand that physically, I have limits. But those limits will not stop me from finding ways to do exactly what needs to be done, by myself)

Okay, let me stop the crypticness and be straight forward.

It is deeply, and intensely important that women (and I suppose men too) become independent before they enter into a relationship. Make sure that if you decide to be with someone, it isn't because you need someone to take care of you, or because you are unable to kill the spiders or change your own tire, or cook your own meals, or do your own laundry.

Learn how to take care of yourself, because -- it doesn't matter who you are with, it doesn't matter if you have vowed to love one another for eternity, it doesn't matter if that person tells you every day that they would die without you -- there is absolutely zero guarantee that they will be around tomorrow, next week, or next year. They could leave you, they could die. A mariad of things could affect the togetherness of you and that person. So make sure that if the unfortunate event comes where you are no longer with him/her, you aren't going to crumple up on the ground like fracking Bella Swan and become utterly useless for months or longer. You have a life to lead, you have shit to do, and someone not being there anymore isn't going to keep the world from turning.

If you decide to be with someone, it should be because you enjoy their company, you never tire of their face, goosebumps overcome you when their fingers graze your waist. You should be partners in your relationship. It should be symbiotic at the least. That person should merely enhance you and your life, not define it.

This is why I'm holding out. I am remembering how to be completely independent. It has been a while since I changed my own oil. I think I'm going to do that. I decided to fix my daughters chair (that admittedly, I broke) instead of just buy a new one or ask someone to do it for me.